Posted in Growing Up, Spirituality, Travel

A Mother’s Guidance Affords Agency to a Young Daughter 

 

My mom is the mother; and I am the young daughter (many years ago).

I’m going to be self-indulgent in this post and selfishly promote my book. I may have been the protagonist in my story, but mother was the main character in my life, as well as the other main character in the coming-of-age memoir I published three years ago, At Home in the World: Travel Stories of Growing Up and Growing Away (paperback version) or Kindle version.

As I have explored the concept of agency in human development here on my blog for several weeks and go further with an example from my own At Home in the World: Travel Stories of Growing Up and Growing Awaylife. I know Mother provided the “curriculum” for me to grow assertive, self-reliant and unafraid—in other words, to develop a sense of agency, in order to be the CEO of my own life. Travel trips, living in other cultures, and being on my own all generated agency that has served me well into adulthood.

HER STORY

Mom propelled me into the world, where she had rarely gone herself. She married two weeks out of high school and had me 21 months later. By age twenty-three she had two baby boys in addition to me. She and Dad situated our family in Piggott, Arkansas (northeast Arkansas) on a plot of land and in a house they built and moved into the month before I was born. At age thirty-seven she became the administrator of the nursing home that she and dad built with another couple and opened in 1966. She became the second largest employer in town.

Mother’s domain extended to the First Baptist Church one mile from our house. She taught Sunday school forever. She held every position possible in the women’s missionary union (WMU). She was leader to different children’s programs. She sang in the choir. She served on many committees and chaired most at some time over the years. And she always showed at potlucks with tasty treats.

Our family did not travel much, took very vacations. Mom and Dad were busy working, raising us kids, and active in the life of our church.

MY STORY

In first grade, my teacher placed a seashell to my ear and I traveled to the ocean to hear the surf for the first time. My third grade teacher read the adventures of the Box Car Children that I relived each night before dropping off to sleep. I toured the world in fourth grade geography, where I learned Switzerland was a country without its own language and Japan, a country with a language of pictograms I could not read.

But moreover, I built a curiosity about the world at church, through mission studies and missionaries who visited our church. Sometimes religion can narrow our views of the world, but in my case the church expanded my outlook on the world, and in turn developed my worldview.

OUR STORY

Poignantly, my mother launched me into the world, discerning that travel is fundamental to exploring the world, though she had never done so herself. Mom, progressive and enabling by standards then and now, proved to be an instrument of me growing up strong, independent, and resilient. She trusted me, but more than that, she trusted the process of becoming an adult. And she entrusted me into the hands of Jesus Christ in her prayers.

Mother knew what Mark Twain expressed in the “Conclusion” of The Innocents Abroad, “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of Men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.”

Before I was twenty-one I took many imaginary trips, along with ones in real time. Travel became my herald, mentor, and shadow. I prized the strength and wisdom that travel offers. And now I relish life’s lessons, learned—those treasured, even those squandered.

I dedicated the book to my mother, Gaye Wiley, wise beyond her experience, who provided me the means to learn about how to make my own decisions; how to act and behave in ways that were caring, compassionate, and smart; as well as, providing a safety net until I had developed sufficient resilience to get up on my own and try again.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, MOM!!!

To purchase the paperback version of my book go to: https://www.createspace.com/4766298

To purchase the Kindle version go to:  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JU4WITI

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Author:

Writer, published author, traveler, blogger, workshop facilitator, spiritual sojourner. Authored coming-of-age travel memoir, At Home in the World: Travel Stories of Growing Up and Growing Away. This story covers my travels at a young age as a result of my involvement with my local church. My relationship with my mother prepares me for my ventures into the world. But I disappoint both family and church by leaving the church. Working on novel about a young woman who travels to India in 1906 to sell her uncle's horses. She loses her brother in route, builds a friendship in India that solidifies her sense of self that she has questioned all her life, and finds a man on board ship who loves her just the way she is but struggles to commit. I live in Texas with the love of my life, husband Lynn, and our Shih Tzu, Murphy, who is more cat than dog.

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